Thoughts on Marriage -- before Marriage
I am sitting here next to my lovely fiance, Maria. She is the sweetest, most beautiful woman I have ever met.
Love is an amazing thing. It is like fire--sometimes we solely wish to behold our beloved; but love has also become cheapened over the last number of years. It has been degraded to the point of pleasure-seeking, and boiled down to only romance. Commitment has taken a back-seat in the vehicle of love.
The thing about pleasure-seeking is that it, in the end, only ever leads to emptiness. It leads to desiring more and more pleasure, but this desire can never be fully satisfied. The rise in failed relationships and divorce has shown that, when people only seek pleasure (and, by this, I mean pleasure in a myriad of ways) and not self-sacrificial altruism, relationships don't last.
It does not help that our culture has heavily promoted this mentality of "seeking only that which benefits me, myself, and I". It is rare to find someone in the public-eye who promotes "sticking it through to the end", "persevering", and "until death do us part" in regards to marriage and relationships. The views that are often espoused are "do what feels right", "be free", and "find the best route for you." These ideas have been ingrained in us for generations now, and have been advanced via the media, the school systems (whether public or private), and most tragically of all, via our elders.
I have met numerous people in their "age of wisdom" who have said to me in regards to my own future marriage, "don't be surprised if it doesn't last." -- No wonder divorce rates are though the roof, not even those who we look to for advise, encouragement, and support can tell us honestly, "It'll be hard, but you can always make it through."
We need a revival. A revival of hope in the goodness of mankind. A revival of the hope that two people certainly can get through thick and thin--through the highs and the lows. That they can always make things work, no matter how hard it gets. Yes, boundaries need to be set, individuals need to express their needs and opinions, but the commitment they make to each other needs to continuously be their point of common ground. Selfishness leads to the death of all relationships. Commitment lasts no matter what the difference in feelings, opinions, and convictions may be. Sometimes, when things are hard, the commitment is the only thing that will get you through.
Love is an amazing thing. It is like fire--sometimes we solely wish to behold our beloved; but love has also become cheapened over the last number of years. It has been degraded to the point of pleasure-seeking, and boiled down to only romance. Commitment has taken a back-seat in the vehicle of love.
The thing about pleasure-seeking is that it, in the end, only ever leads to emptiness. It leads to desiring more and more pleasure, but this desire can never be fully satisfied. The rise in failed relationships and divorce has shown that, when people only seek pleasure (and, by this, I mean pleasure in a myriad of ways) and not self-sacrificial altruism, relationships don't last.
It does not help that our culture has heavily promoted this mentality of "seeking only that which benefits me, myself, and I". It is rare to find someone in the public-eye who promotes "sticking it through to the end", "persevering", and "until death do us part" in regards to marriage and relationships. The views that are often espoused are "do what feels right", "be free", and "find the best route for you." These ideas have been ingrained in us for generations now, and have been advanced via the media, the school systems (whether public or private), and most tragically of all, via our elders.
I have met numerous people in their "age of wisdom" who have said to me in regards to my own future marriage, "don't be surprised if it doesn't last." -- No wonder divorce rates are though the roof, not even those who we look to for advise, encouragement, and support can tell us honestly, "It'll be hard, but you can always make it through."
We need a revival. A revival of hope in the goodness of mankind. A revival of the hope that two people certainly can get through thick and thin--through the highs and the lows. That they can always make things work, no matter how hard it gets. Yes, boundaries need to be set, individuals need to express their needs and opinions, but the commitment they make to each other needs to continuously be their point of common ground. Selfishness leads to the death of all relationships. Commitment lasts no matter what the difference in feelings, opinions, and convictions may be. Sometimes, when things are hard, the commitment is the only thing that will get you through.
We need to eradicate the culture of despair regarding marital commitment. This starts by the example that we set, each and every one of us. Are we strong enough to commit to life long marriage? This commitment is not just for the good of the children who have been begotten from the union between man and woman, but solely because every person deserves to know that they are worth being loved to the end.
Every person deserves to know that they are worth being loved to the end.
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